SeaJay
Contributor
Hahahahaaaaa!!! Stop! My sides are hurting!
Never! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Do you dive with a snorkel?
- Thread starter PapaBob
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Hahahahaaaaa!!! Stop! My sides are hurting!
Never! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
etype
Guest
don't laugh too hard seajay...save the air...it's a long kickfin to camp snorkel....but at least it's on a beach....you'll get three squares and a copy of "DIR The Fundamentals...' and a halycon wing bc so you can do your daily prayer. No one is mistreated, but you will be debriefed about your contacts, logs and any sources of information pertaining to other cells of kickfinners. If you co-operate, things will go smoothly....if not...we bring in Elsa...snorkel b*tch from hell.
Don't ask.....
Don't ask.....
SeaJay
Contributor
Ah-ummmmmmm... (Kool-Aid, please.)
Oh yeah... I remember her. From band camp. You know, "This one time, at band camp..." :haha:
I know exactly what happened to this thread and why etype thinks these options of why to wear a snorkle or not to wear a snorkle is gear "sort of irrational gear nationalism." It's because he has been exposed to radioactivity. I know I looked at his profile. Just kidding.
Relax. All. Gear preference is just that. Preference. While some like certain configuarations others don't. There are benefits to being able to have a choice. Even though snorkles are for snorkling. HAHAHAHAHA
(She's steps back out of the path of the flying cream pie. Ya missed me.) R
Relax. All. Gear preference is just that. Preference. While some like certain configuarations others don't. There are benefits to being able to have a choice. Even though snorkles are for snorkling. HAHAHAHAHA
(She's steps back out of the path of the flying cream pie. Ya missed me.) R
Stop... please stop.... people are beginning to stare as I sit here laughing hysterically.
SeaJay
Contributor
RavenC's right! Holy smokes, etype... What's up with that photo in your profile? Scary!
Man, you need a better picture than that. It just don' look healthy, know what I mean? Combine that with the "September 11th" birthday, and... Well... People might get the wrong idea.
<backs away slowly> "It's just a snorkel, man... Sure, that's cool. Feel free to use one however you wish. Yeah, I like that one... It's a pretty color..."
Man, you need a better picture than that. It just don' look healthy, know what I mean? Combine that with the "September 11th" birthday, and... Well... People might get the wrong idea.
<backs away slowly> "It's just a snorkel, man... Sure, that's cool. Feel free to use one however you wish. Yeah, I like that one... It's a pretty color..."
etype
Guest
Hey..., thats my etype The Impossiblilist, photo...whats not to like?
As for 9/11, that is my birthday.... what can i say? In 2001 i stayed up all night partying on a houseboat, in the morning went to a lounge for some hair of the dog...and whoa...The party was over. Im from the east (Toronto) and I had my little sister and friends in NYC and so i was freaked out trying to get her on a line. That particular 9/11 wasnt a good day for anyone.
Anyway, im no muslim. Just a global undersea infidel (GUI) with a hull up on stays and a volkswagen microbus...a box of snorkels and just about enough gear for a 4-8 person scuba charter biz....
Im going to convert and restore a 36 55 yr old fishing boat. No bayliner fiberglass fuelguzzling rocketships for this skipper. Old world style, hand rubbed teak, sextants n chronometers, gin and tonic on the aft deck, tea and cucumber sandwiches in the forecastle and cruising speed, 8 knots, will drag sailboats for pinkslips...and the zodiac in case we have to find and rescue the people without snorkels.
Anyway, this is not a snorkel jihad (SeaJay...put down that phone). And i agree with you Raven, its personal choice. But sometimes you wiseguys with your ( singalong!) computron zoltrix ovaloffice 3600s wristmount consoles, and your 6000 hp spanish armada boat-dives lighting up the underbrush, and your smells like victory infrared quasi-molecular, time travelling, smoke screening, anti-matter DIR ju-jitsu, ... with the strongbad gear neologisms and the kung-fu grip macro-ray nano-bot and the heads i win, tails you lose UHF shortwave radar spectrum analyses of the wee bonnie snorkel is just plain off. Sorry..., sunspot interference is scrambling your gamma-waves..maybe turn down the gain and get worf to drop the forcefields. Reroute the main energy conduits away from the primary plasma nacelles...must find a new source for dilithium crystal! Open the sub space channels.....message from unknown interspace communication!...Put it on the screen!
'Dammit Jim! I'm just a Doctor not a magician!'
'You...Must...Find....A....Way....To....Com...mun-eh-kate...withtheselifeformsSpock!'
'Aye Captain...the wee engine canna tak nomor Captain'
'Quite logical Jim...a simple tube, bent in the lower dihedral, and inserted in the mouth...will provide enough oxygen for surface travel until we can find the portal back to our check point. I see no point to continuing kickfinning in this illogical fashion'
'Dammn You! You inhuman greenblooded logic machine! Have you no emotions? I'll rip your vulcan eyes from your skull with your simple tubes! I'll smash the computer you have for a mind like a rotten tomato! I'll teach you to savage meat with your heartless logic.....'
'StanddownBones....he....may....just....havesomething...there. Whathave...you got...Spock?
'A snorkel Captain.'
The snorkel...Friends, Citizens and Romans...is an excellent piece of gear. Learn to use and appreciate it. You will be surprised...at how much more useful it is than you think. I know your snickering right now......but one second...
It is an unarguable fact and truism that a prone diver with a snorkel can travel farther than a kickfinning diver on his back. Seajay, take the rubber ducks out of your test tank and see if your nude LauraCroft screensaver is conflicting with your hydrodynamics software....(ahhh Laura...) Now on a boatdive...big deal..unless you are left stranded out there a few miles from shore. And someones going to say what if theres two foot chop? 3 foot slice, 9 inch nails, 2 meter dice?...well, what if theres 10 foot guila monsters spitting neurotoxins from their sex glands? No problem...the guila monsters will indentify the kickfinners as being in heat and try to couple with them. And, its easy to clear a snorkel on every breath with a little practice. And if you dont want to use one, dont...like i said keep your nose clean and i see no problems. But dont sneer at people who do...the snorkel is a piece of gear that is useful, not useless or...Leonardo daVinci wouldnt have invented it.
And on a shoredive...forget about it. Sure tell me how your just going to use your reg to swim 200 metres...i will snorkel and save 1-200 psi and if your kickfinning i will be there twice as fast and have seen twice as much.
Like...if you dont want to use one, i respect that.....But all im doing here is stepping in and stopping you N-64 PowerRangers from picking on the snorkel. And if you dont stop waiting after class to rough up the snorkel ..ill tell your mom.
....i mean it!
....stop it.
...thats it...!
...not kidding this time.
As for 9/11, that is my birthday.... what can i say? In 2001 i stayed up all night partying on a houseboat, in the morning went to a lounge for some hair of the dog...and whoa...The party was over. Im from the east (Toronto) and I had my little sister and friends in NYC and so i was freaked out trying to get her on a line. That particular 9/11 wasnt a good day for anyone.
Anyway, im no muslim. Just a global undersea infidel (GUI) with a hull up on stays and a volkswagen microbus...a box of snorkels and just about enough gear for a 4-8 person scuba charter biz....
Im going to convert and restore a 36 55 yr old fishing boat. No bayliner fiberglass fuelguzzling rocketships for this skipper. Old world style, hand rubbed teak, sextants n chronometers, gin and tonic on the aft deck, tea and cucumber sandwiches in the forecastle and cruising speed, 8 knots, will drag sailboats for pinkslips...and the zodiac in case we have to find and rescue the people without snorkels.
Anyway, this is not a snorkel jihad (SeaJay...put down that phone). And i agree with you Raven, its personal choice. But sometimes you wiseguys with your ( singalong!) computron zoltrix ovaloffice 3600s wristmount consoles, and your 6000 hp spanish armada boat-dives lighting up the underbrush, and your smells like victory infrared quasi-molecular, time travelling, smoke screening, anti-matter DIR ju-jitsu, ... with the strongbad gear neologisms and the kung-fu grip macro-ray nano-bot and the heads i win, tails you lose UHF shortwave radar spectrum analyses of the wee bonnie snorkel is just plain off. Sorry..., sunspot interference is scrambling your gamma-waves..maybe turn down the gain and get worf to drop the forcefields. Reroute the main energy conduits away from the primary plasma nacelles...must find a new source for dilithium crystal! Open the sub space channels.....message from unknown interspace communication!...Put it on the screen!
'Dammit Jim! I'm just a Doctor not a magician!'
'You...Must...Find....A....Way....To....Com...mun-eh-kate...withtheselifeformsSpock!'
'Aye Captain...the wee engine canna tak nomor Captain'
'Quite logical Jim...a simple tube, bent in the lower dihedral, and inserted in the mouth...will provide enough oxygen for surface travel until we can find the portal back to our check point. I see no point to continuing kickfinning in this illogical fashion'
'Dammn You! You inhuman greenblooded logic machine! Have you no emotions? I'll rip your vulcan eyes from your skull with your simple tubes! I'll smash the computer you have for a mind like a rotten tomato! I'll teach you to savage meat with your heartless logic.....'
'StanddownBones....he....may....just....havesomething...there. Whathave...you got...Spock?
'A snorkel Captain.'
The snorkel...Friends, Citizens and Romans...is an excellent piece of gear. Learn to use and appreciate it. You will be surprised...at how much more useful it is than you think. I know your snickering right now......but one second...
It is an unarguable fact and truism that a prone diver with a snorkel can travel farther than a kickfinning diver on his back. Seajay, take the rubber ducks out of your test tank and see if your nude LauraCroft screensaver is conflicting with your hydrodynamics software....(ahhh Laura...) Now on a boatdive...big deal..unless you are left stranded out there a few miles from shore. And someones going to say what if theres two foot chop? 3 foot slice, 9 inch nails, 2 meter dice?...well, what if theres 10 foot guila monsters spitting neurotoxins from their sex glands? No problem...the guila monsters will indentify the kickfinners as being in heat and try to couple with them. And, its easy to clear a snorkel on every breath with a little practice. And if you dont want to use one, dont...like i said keep your nose clean and i see no problems. But dont sneer at people who do...the snorkel is a piece of gear that is useful, not useless or...Leonardo daVinci wouldnt have invented it.
And on a shoredive...forget about it. Sure tell me how your just going to use your reg to swim 200 metres...i will snorkel and save 1-200 psi and if your kickfinning i will be there twice as fast and have seen twice as much.
Like...if you dont want to use one, i respect that.....But all im doing here is stepping in and stopping you N-64 PowerRangers from picking on the snorkel. And if you dont stop waiting after class to rough up the snorkel ..ill tell your mom.
....i mean it!
....stop it.
...thats it...!
...not kidding this time.
me thinks etype has way too much free time
SeaJay
Contributor
Ditto.
But I like him.
Etype, I don't agree with your logic that it's more efficient to swim on your belly in full scuba gear, but I do agree that you'll see more. On your back, you're stuck looking at the sky and where you've been. Using a snorkel, you'll see what's beneath you. Well, sorta... If you're in the open ocean, you'll see nothing but open space unless you're shallow enough to see the bottom. And close to shore, the vis is likely to be poor enough in most places that it's a worthless adventure - although not always true (Caribbean isles come to mind here).
I personally can't stand them pulling on my mask the entire dive, and see the topside antics as a wash between advantages and disadvantages. But hey, that's only my opinion.
Your post was fun to read, though. I particularly liked the Star Trek spoof. Great fun.
By the way, it's a "Gila Monster," not a "guila monster"... As in, the Gila Nation in my wonderful state of Arizona. I once shot one in the head with a .22 caliber rifle at point blank range... And he slithered away unscathed. It just bounced off the guy. Things are a bit different in the desert.
...And I don't have a Laura Croft screensaver. My DIR computer has a plain desktop and shuts the monitor down into energy saver mode after ten minutes of inactivity. Screensavers are dangerous.
Much like snorkels.
Just kidding. :haha:
...Enjoyed your post, man.
But I like him.
Etype, I don't agree with your logic that it's more efficient to swim on your belly in full scuba gear, but I do agree that you'll see more. On your back, you're stuck looking at the sky and where you've been. Using a snorkel, you'll see what's beneath you. Well, sorta... If you're in the open ocean, you'll see nothing but open space unless you're shallow enough to see the bottom. And close to shore, the vis is likely to be poor enough in most places that it's a worthless adventure - although not always true (Caribbean isles come to mind here).
I personally can't stand them pulling on my mask the entire dive, and see the topside antics as a wash between advantages and disadvantages. But hey, that's only my opinion.
Your post was fun to read, though. I particularly liked the Star Trek spoof. Great fun.
By the way, it's a "Gila Monster," not a "guila monster"... As in, the Gila Nation in my wonderful state of Arizona. I once shot one in the head with a .22 caliber rifle at point blank range... And he slithered away unscathed. It just bounced off the guy. Things are a bit different in the desert.
...And I don't have a Laura Croft screensaver.
My DIR computer has a plain desktop and shuts the monitor down into energy saver mode after ten minutes of inactivity. Screensavers are dangerous. Much like snorkels.
Just kidding. :haha:
...Enjoyed your post, man.
etype
Guest
Look, i wanted to get away from the snorkel bad/good/yesitis/noitsnot/ dichotomy. So i wrapped in up in a mix of Gilbert&Sullivan/LateNiteTV/ShoppingChannel/SoldierOfFortune magazine to give it more jazz. Im sorry...too much espresso. Its just that snorkellers, and im sure those of you who are snorkellers out there will attest to this...tend to be more creative types. This is also why we are known generally to be irresistable to women all over the world, tend to command large navies, discover new planets and be shrewd poker players....and are never without a umbrella when it rains.
Im sorry if my above post in anyway detracted from the gravity and importance of this question and this forum. Please accept my sincerest apologies...
Seajay: ok, so we agree to disagree. I respect your opinion and experience. I dont use a snorkel when i boat dive, do penetrations, or go anywhere where i dont need it...(ie) surface swimming. But i shore dive every other day i can, and i really love using my snorkel for the 100 meters or so to my descent point.
Gilas : Thanks for the correction...i was having a flashback to an alfa romeo i had as a teen...and something about my glands at the time.
I was in Arizona sometime ago, Tempe and environs, when i had a girlfriend from Vancouver studying solarenergy systems at the University there. A great state and cool people, cool towns, cool western culture, hot weather. Saw stuffed Gilas for sale in roadside craftstores. Fired guns but never hit anything. Drank a lot...bought this awesome pair of snakeskin cowboy boots....but ill save that for the thread on instructor training.
Again, apologies for making light of this incredibly decisive but utterly crucial question. If i say anything more on this...it will be in the pure language of mathematical expression and advanced differential calculus...that will shock the world and put this question into the history books.
Sincerly
Im sorry if my above post in anyway detracted from the gravity and importance of this question and this forum. Please accept my sincerest apologies...
Seajay: ok, so we agree to disagree. I respect your opinion and experience. I dont use a snorkel when i boat dive, do penetrations, or go anywhere where i dont need it...(ie) surface swimming. But i shore dive every other day i can, and i really love using my snorkel for the 100 meters or so to my descent point.
Gilas : Thanks for the correction...i was having a flashback to an alfa romeo i had as a teen...and something about my glands at the time.
I was in Arizona sometime ago, Tempe and environs, when i had a girlfriend from Vancouver studying solarenergy systems at the University there. A great state and cool people, cool towns, cool western culture, hot weather. Saw stuffed Gilas for sale in roadside craftstores. Fired guns but never hit anything. Drank a lot...bought this awesome pair of snakeskin cowboy boots....but ill save that for the thread on instructor training.
Again, apologies for making light of this incredibly decisive but utterly crucial question. If i say anything more on this...it will be in the pure language of mathematical expression and advanced differential calculus...that will shock the world and put this question into the history books.
Sincerly
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