Divemaster touching me

[Jupiter31]

What a great thread; did not catch it the first go 'round, so thanks for "bumping" - and sorry, agree w/ "much ado about nothing"

Hell, the op SHOULD HAVE BEEN FLATTERED - at 53 to have that effect, even on a horny Mexican DM.

Maybe they both were suffering shallow water narcosis - he thought she was hot, and she belived it to be the case - or maybe his mask brand was "Beer Bottles"

For those w/ zero sense of humor (and believe me we seem to have our share on this board ), I'm joking - however - too many make sexual harrasment allegations; latin culture is more warm, open, and "touchie/feelie" than others - probably thought he was being nice - but today, (or 2008 when this thread started), you open yoursef up to all sorts of stuff when you forget "No good deed goes unpunished"

Didn't check, but was this the OP's only post(s) - why would I not be surprised if this were the case.

 

[Jupiter31]

Yup - 15 posts; how could I tell; I honestly did not check prior to posting the previous post - another user of the board to bitch; boy would I love to get the DM's side of this.

 

[mikemill]

It's all perspective ... there are people joining ScubaBoard every day. What's old to you is new to them ... and they may wish to participate in these discussions as much as you and I do (that's why people come here, after all).

Lots of old threads get resurrected ... some with fonder memories than others. But everybody deserves their chance to participate.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

Different opinion I suppose. I don't have any problem with people participating in threads as long as they are still alive. Once they die and start smelling up the place I consider it poor form to bump it with a "me too" post. If you've got something truly new to add then that's cool, otherwise just leave it be or start a new thread on a similar subject (note: this doesn't mean continue the thread on a new thread). Example: Starting a new thread how DMs should conduct themselves with members of the opposite sex.

 

[pidgiepoo]

LOL- incase you didn't notice...about half the discussions in this thread were deleted by the SB patrol. Without those, this thread should have remained archived IMO

 

[Schizlor]

**deleted in order to lay this back in the ground, whence it came from**

 

[boates]

cultural differences or not, male or female, you gotta go with your gut feeling.

Myself, I hope that I would've insisted on going back to the resort after the 1st dive, probably "feeling ill". Then when back at the resort speak directly to him about the concern I had. Then, if that didn't work, speak to the dive shop, if that didn't work, avoidance of that DM, and choose a different place next time.

I had a creepy, creepy experience while sitting out on a boat dive(sore ear), (the group went, and I stayed with the DM left onboard). To the point where I jumped into the water and hung around till they returned. When I spoke to him, after getting back to the resort, his response was,,,,,,,"well,,, I am a creep". I was stunned. Whaddya say to that? When I told his boss, I found out that they were just waiting for confirmation from someone they "knew", whatever that means (at that time we were 7th time repeat clients). When we returned the next year, he was not only gone from the resort, but off-island.

Hind sight 20/20

 

[Argonaut Captain]

I have two daughters and I lecture to them all the time about this sort of thing. This will sound harsh, but understand I am not judging you, I am educating you. This was your fault. Think of him as a salesman. He sees a qualified buyer (single, unescorted) and he starts building rapport. You did give him buying signals (allowed him to hold your hand, etc. after you realized he was being sexually aggressive). When a salesman gets objections, he changes his approach. Now that I told you what you did wrong, let me tell you what I would tell my daughters. YOU determine how you are treated by everyone you deal with. When you are confronted by behavior that is unwanted, put a stop to it respectfully but immediately. Don't go along with it out of fear. After all, if he is going to physically harm you, the last thing you want to do is give him encouragement. It is better to let him understand that the reality isn't going to be anywhere near the fantasy. I would venture to say that this guy was not threatening in his mind, but thought you liked him and welcomed his advances. So next time, stand your ground, be strong, and NEVER let anyone put their hands on you that you don't choose to do that. One more thing I would tell my daughters. Always have a friend with you when you travel! Regarless of your DM's intentions, there is real scum out there.

 

[DC53]

Soon after becoming OW certified my wife and I went to Cozumel for a diving trip. She is 51 and I am 56. The first day I was still uncomfortable with the idea of jumping off a boat into deep water and diving and so did about 3 long shore dives at about 20 feet to desensitize (it worked). Well, my wife had not been diving in 20 years apart from OWC but is pretty much a fish and was happy to go on the boat without me and probably appeared to be a solo woman. However, as essentially a new diver her air consumption was high, she was “alone” in the group, and probably her buoyancy control was not great. Well the Mexican DM buddies up with her and when they get down there he holds her hand. When her air starts to run a little short because of being new, he gives her his octo
and has her continue the dive (Guess he doesn’t breathe much air), all the while holding onto her. No other more pushy stuff... Next day I’m on the boat too and everything was just normal. Never thought much about it until reading this post, beyond that she was getting some special attention from the DM. Even new, though, I think she would have grabbed her glove back if he’d taken if off and caressed her hand. Certainly in America this would be outrageous, but he could have been working for a good tip but using bad judgment. Certainly the OP should have made NO clear at some point. But under the circumstance how far to take it? Personally I’m not sure.

 

[DRsharky]

Great post Argonaut Captain, excellent comparison with the salesman, I like that.
"YOU determine how you are treated by everyone you deal with" - exactly my words, I was telling this to my kids too when they were young.

 

[ShakaZulu]

Sooner or later, you are going to think:

The Girl Is Mine
Give In To Me
Get On the Floor
She Drives Me Wild

and you are going to want too

Beat It
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
In The Closet

no matter if you're

Black Or White
You Are My Life

and end up with all

The Lost Children

Michael Jackson Song Lyrics of All Album Tracks