• Welcome to ScubaBoard


  1. Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

    Benefits of registering include

    • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
    • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
    • You can make this box go away

    Joining is quick and easy. Login or Register now by clicking on the button

Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

Discussion in 'Basic Scuba Discussions' started by idratherbedivin, Apr 8, 2008.

  1. neil9327

    neil9327 Angel Fish

    # of Dives: 0 - 24
    Location: London, UK
    8
    1
    3
    I don't know whether clothing errors count here, but earlier this week on holiday in the red sea after completing a dive I removed my wetsuit. And in the process it ripped the shorts I was wearing almost in half - via a line straight down the back of them.
    The trouble is I didn't notice this until I arrived back at my hotel, and nobody mentioned anything. I just hope it was with amusement rather than horror that they had a chance to view my backside!
    I think I'll change to a new dive centre to save my blushes..
     
    kimbalabala likes this.
  2. philba

    philba Angel Fish

    # of Dives: 0 - 24
    Location: United States
    27
    6
    0
    So, I hadn't dived in decades and wanted to get recertified. PADI application said I needed to get a doctor's permission. Now, I'm a very healthy 59 YO but my doctor is a fricking nervous nellie. Conversation went like this:

    me: Hey, I want to take a SCUBA class, would you please sign this form.
    nervous nellie doc: are you nuts, you're 60.
    me: let's not get ahead of ourselves here, I want to go diving
    nnd: how about a glass bottom boat?
    me: I want to see the fishies.
    nnd: how about just snorkling?
    me: doc...
    nnd: have you heard of SNUBA?
    me: DOC...
    nnd: ok, but you'll need a stress test (this is the guy that straps me into a CAT machine at the drop of a hat)
    me: sigh, ok.

    $2100 of tests later ($1400 out of my pocket, yikes) I got my signature and now possess a PADI OW cert. The nnd had ordered all sorts of extra stress tests. To add some insult, my doc is about 60 lbs overweight and I am in pretty good shape. Maybe time for a new doctor...
     
    261311 and shoredivr like this.
  3. Adam Grose

    Adam Grose Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Tucson, AZ
    404
    102
    43
    I just got a GREAT t-shirt. It says "The best reason to own your own dive gear..... I peed in your rental wetsuit". Even better..... The shirt is YELLOW!!! :wink:

    Adam


     
    button and TUTs_mama like this.
  4. ScoobaChef

    ScoobaChef DIR Practitioner

    # of Dives: 1,000 - 2,499
    Location: Sydney
    185
    54
    28
    I was getting lunch for the guys at my lds, when the owner (a very active diver) told me to keep his food separate because he has a very severe allergy to even slight traces of seafood. I got halfway out the door before I was like " what the h@ll!?!?"
     
    TUTs_mama likes this.
  5. mstevens

    mstevens Toadfish. Splendid is implied but not guaranteed. ScubaBoard Supporter

    2,580
    1,185
    113
    How is that funny, or even odd?
     
  6. SC_Hoaty

    SC_Hoaty Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 25 - 49
    Location: SC
    5,594
    4,015
    0

    Because the ocean is full of "even slight traces of seafood?" Rumor has it that fish eat other fish!
     
  7. j2s

    j2s Loggerhead Turtle

    # of Dives:
    Location: florida
    1,311
    221
    0
    One cave diver to another..."Did you bring your flag" ??????......Or, " I never cave dive at nite, it's too dark" !!!!!
     
  8. mstevens

    mstevens Toadfish. Splendid is implied but not guaranteed. ScubaBoard Supporter

    2,580
    1,185
    113
    The ocean, yes. Seawater, no. I've never heard of anyone even with an extraordinarily severe seafood allergy (and shellfish allergies are among the most common food allergies) having a reaction to seawater, even at a reef teeming with shellfish.
     
  9. rajesh447

    rajesh447 Garibaldi

    4
    1
    0
    Bye guys!!! Love you
     
  10. ScubaSteve

    ScubaSteve Wow.....what a DB

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Acton, Ontario
    23,370
    4,412
    113

    Picture his post with a dash of irony :shakehead:........Kind of like "I am allergic to peanuts but work in the front office of a PBJ sandwich maker."
     
    ADeadlierSnake and ScoobaChef like this.

Share This Page