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Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

Discussion in 'Basic Scuba' started by idratherbedivin, Apr 8, 2008.

  1. neil9327

    neil9327 Registered

    # of Dives: 0 - 24
    Location: London, UK
    I don't know whether clothing errors count here, but earlier this week on holiday in the red sea after completing a dive I removed my wetsuit. And in the process it ripped the shorts I was wearing almost in half - via a line straight down the back of them.
    The trouble is I didn't notice this until I arrived back at my hotel, and nobody mentioned anything. I just hope it was with amusement rather than horror that they had a chance to view my backside!
    I think I'll change to a new dive centre to save my blushes..
    kimbalabala likes this.
  2. philba

    philba Registered

    # of Dives: 0 - 24
    Location: United States
    So, I hadn't dived in decades and wanted to get recertified. PADI application said I needed to get a doctor's permission. Now, I'm a very healthy 59 YO but my doctor is a fricking nervous nellie. Conversation went like this:

    me: Hey, I want to take a SCUBA class, would you please sign this form.
    nervous nellie doc: are you nuts, you're 60.
    me: let's not get ahead of ourselves here, I want to go diving
    nnd: how about a glass bottom boat?
    me: I want to see the fishies.
    nnd: how about just snorkling?
    me: doc...
    nnd: have you heard of SNUBA?
    me: DOC...
    nnd: ok, but you'll need a stress test (this is the guy that straps me into a CAT machine at the drop of a hat)
    me: sigh, ok.

    $2100 of tests later ($1400 out of my pocket, yikes) I got my signature and now possess a PADI OW cert. The nnd had ordered all sorts of extra stress tests. To add some insult, my doc is about 60 lbs overweight and I am in pretty good shape. Maybe time for a new doctor...
    261311 and shoredivr like this.
  3. Adam Grose

    Adam Grose Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Tucson, AZ
    I just got a GREAT t-shirt. It says "The best reason to own your own dive gear..... I peed in your rental wetsuit". Even better..... The shirt is YELLOW!!! :wink:


    button and TUTs_mama like this.
  4. ScoobaChef

    ScoobaChef DIR Practitioner

    # of Dives: 1,000 - 2,499
    Location: Sydney
    I was getting lunch for the guys at my lds, when the owner (a very active diver) told me to keep his food separate because he has a very severe allergy to even slight traces of seafood. I got halfway out the door before I was like " what the h@ll!?!?"
    TUTs_mama likes this.
  5. mstevens

    mstevens Toadfish. Splendid is implied but not guaranteed. ScubaBoard Supporter

    How is that funny, or even odd?
  6. SC_Hoaty

    SC_Hoaty Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 25 - 49
    Location: SC

    Because the ocean is full of "even slight traces of seafood?" Rumor has it that fish eat other fish!
  7. j2s

    j2s Contributor

    # of Dives:
    Location: florida
    One cave diver to another..."Did you bring your flag" ??????......Or, " I never cave dive at nite, it's too dark" !!!!!
  8. mstevens

    mstevens Toadfish. Splendid is implied but not guaranteed. ScubaBoard Supporter

    The ocean, yes. Seawater, no. I've never heard of anyone even with an extraordinarily severe seafood allergy (and shellfish allergies are among the most common food allergies) having a reaction to seawater, even at a reef teeming with shellfish.
  9. rajesh447

    rajesh447 New

    Bye guys!!! Love you
  10. ScubaSteve

    ScubaSteve Wow.....what a DB

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Acton, Ontario

    Picture his post with a dash of irony :shakehead:........Kind of like "I am allergic to peanuts but work in the front office of a PBJ sandwich maker."
    ADeadlierSnake and ScoobaChef like this.

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