Wife is sometimes a bad buddy

[The Chairman]

Hold her hand in low vis.

Just that simple.

If she gets nervous with that, then PLEASE thumb the dive.

If she doesn't enjoy the claustrophobia, then let her dive just the ocean.

Diving should be fun for EVERYONE.

 

[bp_968]

Another reason she hates the lake is she WILL NOT wear a wetsuit thicker than 3mm. Will not. Will Not. WILL NOT. I bought her a 7mm and she took it back because she does not like how a "thick" wetsuit feels. No matter what suit. No matter how it fits. No matter what color it is. She does not like it and will not were it.

She will not wear a hood either. We did a pumpkin carving dive and I was nice and gave her my hood so she could be warmer. She freaked and bolted for the surface becausethe hood made her claustraphobic. She was fine, but cold without it. We carved the pumpkin and took 3rd place without further incident in 15 feet of lake water. But she said she did not like it.

You have described her as "freaking and bolting to the surface" a number of times now in various situations. That is pretty poor situation management on her part. I would be concerned that were she to face a different or frightening situation out in the ocean she would react with the typical response you have been describing, Panic. That is a problem. Seems the thing that really needs work is her response to alarming/frightening situations. Panic is not an acceptable response. Maybe more training is a good idea. Not situational specific training (cold water, deep water, low vis, etc) but a training geared more towards modifying her emotinal response to the stressor.

Honestly I would be terrifed to take my wife diving until I was nearly positive she *wouldn't* respond to scary/dangerous situations with panic. I know I would do anything required to save her, quite possibly resulting in two fatalities.

 

[azsilver]

SHE WILL NOT EVER LIKE DIVING THE LAKE. THE OCEAN HAS SPOILED HER. I WAS ASKING IF IT IS SAFE FOR HER TO JUST DIVE THE OCEAN WITH POOL REFRESHERS AT HOME!
Don

Yes, The pool refreshers works for us and should work for your wife!

We (my husband and I) do pool refreshers because we both do not want to dive the low vis and cold water in fresh water lakes of Arizona. We have dove different lakes and now my husband hates it more than I do. We go about once a year for a dive trip in the warm water of Cozumel.

We met diving cold water in Southern California Channel Islands. We are thinking of getting back into cold water diving but with drysuits but that's another post.

About 6 weeks prior to going to Cozumel we go to the pool about 3 to 4 times and dive. During these dives we check out all our equipment, work on our individual and bubby skills and to work on our comfort level on scuba.

This pool time works for us. We also swim so we maintain our comfort level in the water.

Yes there is a transition from the pool to the Ocean Open water, but keeping our skill level current helps to keep us safe.

I hope this helps!

AZ Divers

 

[Rick Inman]

Jesus!


Don

Yes, I agree that at this point, prayer might be the only solution.

 

[StSomewhere]

I just love the Dr. Laura stuff. As if a few sentences or paragraphs was enough to understand the dynamics of a ten year relationship.

FWIW, the vis is typically better at Beaver Lake or Table Rock, vs. your local quarry.

 

[wedivebc]

"I see stupid people..."

So do I

 

[duke69bof]

well, I've got to admit...my Mrs and I don't buddy well either...but that's ok, we don't often have to...but when we do...after the dive, it often ends up in an argument...mostly we just agree in the end that we dive different ways...we're both fine with other people.....one of those things I guess...

 

[boomx5]

Hold her hand in low vis.

Just that simple.

If she gets nervous with that, then PLEASE thumb the dive.

If she doesn't enjoy the claustrophobia, then let her dive just the ocean.

Diving should be fun for EVERYONE.

Good advise Pete. Another thing I've done is instead of jumping in and trying to cover a bunch of ground, just hang out in a very small area and not swim much. I found it gives those new divers who are still trying to get comfortable in the water and in a low vis environment time to adjust. I remember when my son first got certified in the lake, we probably didn't cover more than 40' of ground in the hour we were down. We also didn't go deeper than 10'-15' of water, but we just hung out until he was ready to cover more ground. As he's progressed, we've slowly started to go a bit deeper and swim a bit further. I've also done the same thing with several other new divers and have found it works fine. Remember, you don't need to go deep or far to have a good time, just take it slow and don't take your eyes off of her. Last thing is to maybe think about investing in some more training and in a couple of HID lights since I think that will help a lot of your underwater communication problems.

Good luck,

 

[pipedope]

I think that this is going to the heart of the matter, ... COLD.
Nobody I know likes diving cold.

Maybe there is a way that she could be comfortable in adequate exposure protection and maybe not. First she would probably need a drysuit and probably doesn't want the expense, added training and added task loading that entails. Second, in cold water a hood is essential. Most hoods off the shelf are so so at best. Many people will do better with a hood that is custon fitted. I know I find most hoods too tight around my neck. In many cases I wear a cap rather than a full hood.

OTOH Some people will only enjoy warm water diving and nothing will get them comfortable in cold water. These people are better diving in warm water and maintaining skills with regular pool work and refreshers before diving trips.
The refreshers do work but it is even better is she would also do regular (monthly or more) pool dives to keep the body more adjusted and the skills and procedures fresher.

As for claustrophobia, some people are, some aren't and some are in between. I used to work in underground underwater pipes as small as 18" so it is not a problem for me. For some people they really need the visual space to feel ok and not everyone can train their way out of it, or wants to.

Get her to a nice warm pool as often as you can and do refreshers before you trips and have fun.

Another reason she hates the lake is she WILL NOT wear a wetsuit thicker than 3mm. Will not. Will Not. WILL NOT. I bought her a 7mm and she took it back because she does not like how a "thick" wetsuit feels. No matter what suit. No matter how it fits. No matter what color it is. She does not like it and will not were it.

She will not wear a hood either. We did a pumpkin carving dive and I was nice and gave her my hood so she could be warmer. She freaked and bolted for the surface becausethe hood made her claustraphobic. She was fine, but cold without it. We carved the pumpkin and took 3rd place without further incident in 15 feet of lake water. But she said she did not like it.

I do have a bright light. And it was on. It actually reduced vis because of all the suspended particles.

So it is the ocean and pool for her now. Which is fine. If she asks to go in the lake again, I will take her. But not until then.

I was frustrated when I wrote the original post. That probably came out here because I was trying my very best to NOT have it come out at her. But none of you were there. So what do you know about it? I thought maybe there was someone out there who had been through the same thing and could empathize. I guess I was wrong. There are just a lot of critical folks out there. I am glad the people in our dive club are not like most of the folks on this list.

Don

 

[DivingCRNA]

Andrew,

Yeah... I am gonna use this as an excuse to buy a couple tanks and then she can practice in our pool at home whenever she wants. There is also a shop in town with a good pool for the winter. If she wants to get in and practice.

Don